Well, another year filled with, false smiles, fake emotions, empty promises and unforgiven thoughts. I have enjoyed my summer, basically, worked out, cleaned up around the house and played video games. I guess tomorrow I have to get back into my "people preferred" state of mind or persona. I have a friend that would sometimes ask me for help about "his girl", asking me for help in things such as "if she acts 'this' way, when I tell her 'this' what should I do?" and so on. Its an annoyance... an annoyance that I have to put on the caring face, even though I don't care, and give the thoughtful advice, even though its just plain common sense. Another school year, where I can't be myself, say what I want to say, or do what I want to do...I just have to act accordingly, and in favor to keep people from knowing who I really I'm. Sometimes my so called "friends", would tell me things that I am suppose to feel sorry about or I am suppose to say "it will be okay", but in my mind I wish I can just tell them, "if your looking for sympathy, you are not going to get it from me."

Sometimes I feel that I am just calmly drifting through certain times in my life. Well more like a bystander in life, just watching the "whole show" as it takes place right in front of me. I sometimes look, and I see people's mistakes they are going to make, even before they make it, or other times I might hear a particular situation and I can imagine the odds and probability of certain events that might takes place in the correct order in my head with great clarity and vividness. Drifting through and no one sees me... just me looking at them. Some times my "friends" may notice me telling them things that are really wise and insightful, and telling them of things that the mistakes they make can be unavoidable but they choice not to listen, this happened especially during my high school years.....hmm.

I always wanted a simple life. A life away from the confusion and mishaps of the city. I can finally live in peace and be myself. I would love to live on the countryside of this or some other country, with a great view a peaceful one, not one overlooking a city, and maybe (its unavoidable) a very few neighbors. Just a nice simple life, no longer constrained by the policies that society has embedded (or tried to) in us. No need to go to school just to get a good job, (education and knowledge is great, but it should not only be for the sole purpose in getting a job or at some social class in this society), and serve the community in a loyalist way, no need to act a certain way just to be on the pleasant side of people, no need to be around "fakes", diplomacy and politically corrected people. Just somewhere I can be at peace, and satisfied with the people around me. If I ever get a chance to live "out there somewhere" I know I would forever be satisfied and at peace. Hah, I probably sound like a child wishing for something, like seeing Santa Claus or to trying to catch the tooth fairy at work taking my baby tooth, but.... I never would get to. But... in the back of my mind..... I know it is somehow possible.

If I die tomorrow, life will still go on,
The "friends" and "associates" I knew, won't know I'm gone.

If I die tomorrow, "they" will soon forget,
for their memory is short and that they do not regret.

If I die tomorrow, people will not miss or care,
but the dust will relish my body, that my mother has bear.

If I die tomorrow, the world will continue to spin,
undisturbed, intact, undistracted, for the earthlings inhabiting within.

If I die tomorrow, only my family will weep,
and basket in the fruits of my labor while I sleep.

If I die tomorrow, after my funeral my family will feast,
for they know now, that I am at peace.

By: Strange Collage Guy (because as a collage, I am made up of many many different experiences.)

I was thinking today. What if someone wanted to serious become a vigilante? (I mean, all jokes aside, not a comic book fan gone insane and delusional, and nothing imitating "Kick Ass") In all its seriousness, what if someone put in the required effort in training physically and mentally daily, gathering equipment that will be used each night, that including getting the right outfit that will maintain warmth and protection and also has to be waterproof. But I personally believe that if someone really wanted to be a vigilante, he/she has to be fully dedicated, I mean, its a pretty, life long commitment right? Because, if someone were suppose to stop, then crime would eventually go back to how it was, and even skyrocket knowing that the person stopping them has now left the scene. Well, just something to think about.